Last time, when discussing how gay men meet, I touched upon the use of social media; this time, I’d like to delve a little deeper into that topic.
Just as matchmaking apps (dating apps) are currently trending, there are now apps specifically designed for gay men to meet.
Beyond dedicated dating apps, platforms like X (formerly Twitter) and Instagram are also utilized; people share glimpses of their private lives, and if someone likes the content or the vibe, they arrange to meet in person.
The reality is that the methods of meeting people have changed completely since I first started out in Shinjuku Ni-chome some twenty years ago.
Just between us, I’m scrambling to keep up with these modern trends in dating myself.
Of course, meeting people at gay bars is still a great option.
Meeting in a setting where alcohol is served tends to heighten emotions and make it easier to speak openly and honestly, making it an excellent way to connect.
When people are looking for a match, the question that almost invariably comes up is, “What’s your type?”
This is no different for straight people; gay men have their own individual preferences, too. Some like heavier-set men, while others prefer a slim build. Some like older men, while others prefer younger ones.
An interesting aspect of the gay scene is the high importance placed on hair length.
Based on my own personal experience, the “very short” hairstyle is the most popular. I’m not entirely sure why, but that’s just how it is. If I had to venture a reason, it might be linked to masculinity—though please note, this is just my personal opinion.
Also, among customers visiting my bar in Ni-chome, a common topic of conversation is, “It’s such a waste that he’s gay when he’s so handsome,” or “He’s a good-looking guy, but he’s gay, right? What a waste.”
But I’d like you to really think about that for a moment. Isn’t that a rather rude thing to say? It is true that gay men are estimated to make up one-tenth of the population—a much smaller group than heterosexuals—so, statistically speaking, one might be more likely to encounter a handsome gay man. However, gay men did not choose to be born gay; they have absolutely no reason to be told it is a “waste.” Such comments seem to stem from discriminatory prejudice, so I would ask you to be mindful of that.
There is no difference between gay men and heterosexual men when it comes to their views on romance.
As I mentioned earlier, everyone has their own “type”; it is simply that their sexual and romantic inclinations are directed toward the same sex. Their preferences regarding a partner are no different from those of heterosexual men.
I hope this information proves useful should you meet or interact with gay men in the future.

※Translating Japanese articles into English with AI