My child will be 20 this year and is currently a university student. I have felt that it was difficult to raise him since he was about 2-3 years old, before I learned about developmental disabilities and autism spectrum disorder (at the time, it was called pervasive developmental disorder or Asperger syndrome).
Now that I have gained experience and knowledge, I am convinced that at the time, I was unconsciously making adjustments to suit his characteristics.
Most people often plan their daily lives with a clear outlook. For example, in order to get to work on time, they think about what time they will leave the house, what time they will finish breakfast, and what time they will get up. Even if there are rare days when they fail, it is common and natural to think about how to act the next day onwards. I never thought that there were people who were difficult to improve with effort until I learned about autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
This is an example from my child’s early childhood. After going out, if the route home changes, he will arch his back in the seat of the bicycle and get angry. Not knowing why, we decided to go home the same way for a while. One day, we had to take a different route for business, and I felt anxious and tried my best to explain it to him. “I have something to do today, so I’m going home by a different route. I’ll come home when I’m done.” I explained it to him several times before getting on the bicycle. That day, he didn’t arch his back in anger. I remember that by telling him the changes in advance, life became a little easier. In this case, he was able to see the future by understanding the meaning of the words I told him, so he understood that “I can go home by a different route” and was able to accept it with peace of mind. If he was at a developmental stage where he had difficulty understanding words, I think it would have been effective to explain the way home using a means that he could understand.

One of the characteristics of the brain of ASD is that it has a “characteristic social imagination.” The ability to imagine does not work in the way that the majority imagines. It is not good or evil or superiority or inferiority, but the way the brain works is different. These differences can cause various problems in daily life, such as being scared when the road changes without warning, or becoming extremely anxious when something that is not in a certain place is not there. In addition, it is difficult to understand the response or attitude that the other person expects, and they may start talking without considering the context.
For people with ASD, it is difficult to imagine and communicate when there is no foresight or clear statements. On the other hand, creating an environment where they can foresee the future and knowing the differences from usual in advance can increase their sense of security. Furthermore, it is often easier to communicate correctly in words rather than assuming that people will understand without being told. Since ASD characteristics are not related to the presence or degree of intellectual disability, it is necessary to support “understanding” in a way that suits each person’s understanding.
The ingenuity of people with ASD, who have different brains and unique characteristics, changes as they grow. I think this is a perspective that should be known in a symbiotic society.

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